Is True Love Just Once In A Lifetime?

This Christmas break is getting pretty lame. I'm disgruntled due to the fact of being disconnected with friends[No outgoing calls on our phone, my cellphone is still a hopeless disaster and a very low frequency of online pals], the melancholic nothingness in the mighty refrigerator[My brother must have held a buffet while I'm fast asleep], the treacherous scheme of my three brothers to invade my three lonesome diaries[They've succeeded once, but, my force is strong. When I managed to retrieve it, I hit them hard on their heads[Good thing its hard-bound. Haha. c;]] and the absence of a person that I continuously try to get of my mind[This is someone new, but anatomically the same.].

I better hop off now. I haven't eaten dinner yet. . . and its 11 o'clock in the evening. Hello, hyperacidity! We meet again. Tsk. I'm so bad.

Welcome to the Good Life!

Ang taong too tawzhan siben ay naging isang lowded na tri handred siksti-payb deys para sa akin. Ang taong ito ay nag-ukit ng parehong magaganda at masasakit na larawan at alaala sa aking puso na dadalhin ko hanggang sa aking puntod. Bakit kamo? Siguro dahil sa taong ito ako'y:

1. tinawag na 'dambuhalang bakulaw' ng isang malapit[at malupit] na kaibigan
   
2. nagkaroon ng pasa na kasinglaki ng tatlong singko sa kaliwang bahagi ng aking left femur
3. nag-interbyew ng mga nag-gagandahan at nag-gwagwapuhan[?] na mga nilalang sa aming paaralan
   
4. pinakitaan ng pinakamasagwang hayop sa balat ng lupa sa gitna ng aking bathing session
   
5. tumanda ng isang taon at mas lumapit sa bingit ng kamatayan
   
6. nakakita ng taong nagkolaps na una ang ilong
   
7. naging usherette sa isang gradwasyon
   
8. nag-alaga ng isang rodent
   
9. nagmotorkeyd mula Pacol hanggang Concepcion noong Biyernes Santo
   
10. nagpakalunod sa isang swimming pool sa gitna ng bukid
    
11. muntik ng masagasaan ng bulldozer
    
12. naglakad na walang saplot ang paa at walang payong sa mainit at mabatong buhangin ng Pasacao na eksaktong alas dose ng tanghali noong Abril
    
13. gumawa ng teleserye tungkol sa buhay-pag-ibig ng tatlo kong pinsan
    
14. nagmukhang anino ng aking ina dahil sa pagiging sunud-sunuran sa mala-palasyong laki ng PICC
    
15. natulog ng alas dos ng umaga sa apat na sunud-sunod na araw kasi paulit-ulit na pinanuod ang paboritong palabas sa YouTube
    
16. nagwakas ng isang-taong di-pagpapansinan sa pagitan ng aking kuya
    
17. hinandelan ng isang double-quinquagenarian
    
18. nag-alyas cupido sa pag-iibigan ng isang balyena at isang siopao
    
19. sumali sa isang cookfest
    
20. naging isang kadete
    
21. pinagalitan ng isang matandang estranghero sa dyip dahil wala raw kaming GMRC
22. nakabilang sa isang samahan na may pangalang katunog ang pagsabog ng bomba
    
23. nakasali sa isang parada!
    
24. umibig at nasaktan sa pinakaunang pagkakataon
    
25. hindi pumasok sa isang asignatura kasi ayoko ng titser
    
26. naging Queen of Fairy kahit sa saglit na panahon lamang
    
27. namatayan ng lolo
    
28. nagselebreyt ng anibersaryo ng aking mga pinakamamahal na mga ka-ibigan
    
29. nagbitaw ng pinakauna kong Tagalog na bad word sa bisperas ng Pasko
    
30. at sa pang-tatlumpong posisyon, siguro dahil ako'y nagpakatao at nagpakatotoo.

Ang drama pala nung huli. Pero, aaminin ko, totoo yan. Samakatuwid, lahat ng yan ay totoo. Kung ayaw mong maniwala, eh di wag, hindi kita pinipilit.

P.S. This is my year-ender post but not the last post of the year. And all of the happenings are on chronological order.


Cheers. Happy 2008. Ngatngatan tayo.♥

Close my eyes, I sink and grasp for breath.

Merry Christmas! This is another senseless post. Just a simple notice to remind you the reader that this blog is alive and I'm in a pleasant condition. Its just that my brain cells are now inexistent due to tremendous overuse. But I promise to be back with something new, something significant enough that even Santa Claus would bother to read. Be back next year? See you tomorrow? I really can't tell. Only God can. Well, goodnight. ;)

May patay pero nakangiti. How stupid can I get?

He Isn't Really What I'm Looking For.

Pain
Hundreds of children yelling, screaming.
Horrified wails that deafen you.
The fear is tangible,
So thick you can’t breathe,
The shame of a thousand souls.
And then, midst the howling,
A faint cry of hope,
A baby that has not yet fallen.
A child that hasn’t been tainted,
And the evil seems to be gone.
Then a cry from the child.
His voice joins the torment.
Screaming. All hope is gone.

Laugh
When I hear your lovely laugh,
And gaze in your beautiful eyes,
I long to feel the warmth of your touch,
And light your face with a smile.
I make a joke, you laugh, you smile.
My heart is filled with joy.
The color in your velvet cheeks
Paints my heart with love.
But my heart overflows,
As you laugh and laugh.
My heart breaks, and the love
Runs down my cheeks
Into my trembling hands.
And you laugh.

Grief
A smile, a wink,
A giggle, a laugh,
Then you glare me down,
Cut my heart in half.
The tears cannot clean
The cut that you made.
The sorrow can't fill
The hole in my soul.
The comfort of friends,
And forgiveness from you.
Once I have that,
I can live again.

Creation
Shadows flicker in the sunlight,
Branches flow in the breeze.
The air is cool, the wind, refreshing.
Birds are swooping through the air,
Sounds of laughter echo,
And the insects are constantly buzzing,
Filling the air with a noisy peace.
A calming, enjoyable sound.
Children are playing, clouds are dancing
In an empty blue ballroom of sky.
And all of this is God’s creation,
Who else could inspire such awe?

I found the cure to growing older.

This week was a haze of good laughs, unforgettable moments and a hyper acidic stomach. Indeed, it was the most exhausting week of my school year, yet.

Monday
I hate Mondays and I have a minor amnesia so let's just omit this day.

Tuesday
I didn't attend school last Tuesday morning, which happened to be the day to confess our most awkward wrongdoings. Denise reckoned I had a phobia of confession. Haha, yeahright. But the real reason was the overflowing acid on my stomach. Earlier that day, I woke up just to find myself squirming in pain, like an earthworm sprinkled with sodium chloride and exposed to the hellish heat. One word: hyperacidity. My mother advised me to ban myself from eating fatty oily foods, chocolate[oh no!] and avoid skipping meals[that's very unavoidable, especially in highschool life. ;)]. I just hope I can follow my doctor's prescription. Let's see.

Wednesday
Besides the fact that I were late again and that I saw Giezyl and Reuben together on my way up, I don't remember what else happened on this day.

Thursday
I went home at precisely 9:16 in the evening. Enough said. And that is without my parent's permission. Syaks. Bugbog sarado ang aabutin ko nito. Pero sa masayang palad, hindi naman. Minura lang naman ako ng aking nag-gigilaiting ama at binantaang hindi na ako pagagamitin ng telepono. Pero, alam niya ba kung ano ang nangyari? Kung ilang patak ng pawis ang ibinuhos ko habang paulit-ulit naming prinaktis ang 'Ol Ay Want Purr Krismas Es Yeow' at 'Sleiy Rayd'? Kung gano katagal namin dapat tiisin ang galaw-pagong na dyip, na dumaan pa sa Panganiban, Diversion at CBD bago dumaan sa Villa Grande Homes? At kung ilang mapapait na pagpaparinig ang binitawan namin ni Krizzia bago umusad ang drayber na nakanganga at tuwang-tuwa na nanunuod ng pipitsugin na palabas sa Plaza? Hindi. Hindi niya yun alam.

Friday
Enough said. I love this day. I love 2 - Hechanova.♥

I Wrote The Gospel On Giving Up.

school's been a hell lately. english speech choir here and christmas presentation for mapeh there. i'm under pressure again. and much to my dismay, my personal issues strangling me causes so much stress and heartache. sigh.

where is superman when you need him?

Is this how we say goodbye?

Hindi ako tao. Isa akong illegal intruder galing sa Planet X sa kaharian ng Townsville. Ako ay inutusan ni Haring Alibabba na sindakin at paniwalain sa aking mga kuro-kuro ang mga naninirahan sa planetang ito.

Ecckkkk.

Mission terminated.

Off-guard, red handed now, I'm far from lonely.

Tsoog. Sanity has abandoned me once again.



INSERT A COIN TO CONTINUE.

Pictures of You.

I just thought of posting, although its rather nonsense. December na! Regalo ko?

I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off.

Tatlumpo't pitong tanong. Basahin mo, nasa likod mo ako! Nyahaha!

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night.
- Ang kwento at kaisa-sang news sa TV kahapon. Lintik. Paulit-ulit lang! Pakilalam ko ba dun? Gusto kong malaman kung patay na si Kim Chiu!

2. What were you doing at 08:00?
- Naglalaway sa unan sa two-storey kong kama habang pinapaginipan ang di-makilakilatis na mukha ng aking Dream Boy.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
- Naghahati ng Red Sea habang binabasa ang 'Ang Paboritong Libro ni Hudas'

4. What happened to you in 2006?
- Andami. Tumalon sa Taipei 101, tumawid sa almabre, kumain ng buhay na manok tapos pumasok sa hula-hoop na umaapoy.

6. How many beverages did you have today?
- Isang daan dalawamput limang[kortesi of Herberto] baso ng distilled water tapos pitong galon na isopropyl alcohol.

7. What color is your hairbrush?
- Pink

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
- Pitong piso para sa Quake Overload. Sayang, wala ng tawad eh.

9. Where were you last night?
- Ewan. Sa kubeta, sa harap ng mesa, sa harap ng telebisyon, sa harap ng kompyuter tapos sa North Pole.

10. What color is your front door?
- Depende sa kulay ng nasa likod nito. Pero ngayon, faded na dirty pink.

11. Where do you keep your change?
- Sa aking Kero Keroppi-ng pitaka

12. What’s the weather like today?
- Madilim at malamig. Awoo!

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
- Concentrated na ampalaya na may halong isang kilong patis

14. What excites you?
- Ang mukha nung maputing bata sa 'The Grudge'

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
- Oo. Gusto ko ngang magpakalbo eh.

16. Are you over the age of 25?
- Hindi pa. 24.99999 pa lang.

17. Do you talk a lot?
- Hindi ako marunong magsalita.

18. Do you watch the O.C.?
- Minsan. Kapag nakakaintindi ako ng Ingles.

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
- Uiii! Crush mo siya no?! Uiii! Isyu!

20. Do you make up your own words?
- tingakdun regitoninni bedut. Hindi.

21. Are you a jealous person?
- Ang tamang tanong ay kung ikaw ba'y totoo? Ang mga salita bang sinasabi mo'y galing sa iyong puso?

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’.
- Si Aberforth Dumbledore.

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.
- Hindi ako nakikipagkaibigan sa mga taong may pangalang nagsisimula sa letrang 'K'. Ako yung tipong nakikipagkaibigan lang sa taong may pangalang nagsisimula sa patinig.

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
- Si Saddam Hussein. Tama ba ang ispelling?

25. What does the last text message you received say?
- Wala akong selpon.

26. Do you chew on your straw?
- Minsan. Kapag nakakabitin ang pagkain.

27. Do you have curly hair?
- Oo.

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
- Sa banyo.

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
- Si Mr. Wimple. Full name niya ay Wannabe Pimple. Magsasabi na naman yan sa'kin, 'Beh! Lalabas na 'ko! Mas papangit ka pa!'

30. What was the last thing you ate?
- Papel na may nakasulat na 'Veronica Imperial'

31. Will you get married in the future?
- Syempre. Siguradong hindi ako tatanggapin sa kumbento.

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
- Ewan ko. Hindi inaabot ng memorya ko ang dalawang linggo.

33. Is there anyone you like right now?
- Wala. Di tumitibok ang puso ko ngayon.

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
- Hmmm. Hindi ko na maalala. Nalinis na lang ang mga plato namin sa tulong ng dila ng pusa ng kapitbahay namin.

35. Are you currently depressed?
- Obvious ba?

36. Did you cry today?
- Hindi pa. Siguro pagkatapos kong ipagkalat 'to sa Internet.

37. Why did you answer and post this?
- Simple lang. Walang akong magawa, umaatake na naman ang kagaguhan ko at hindi pa ako naliligo.


Happiness is something final and complete in itself, as being the aim and end of all practical activities whatever … Happiness then we define as the active exercise of the mind in conformity with perfect goodness or virtue. —Aristotle

Pumapatak Na Naman Ang Ulan.

It was past eight when we left my mother's clinic. I opened the door, released the air-conditioned coldness, just to realize that it was raining again.

The downpour was exulting. Tic . . . tac . . . tic . . tac . . tic, tac –– its sound went. I stared at the people flooding downtown and the stores luminously shining over the un-starry sky as I were seating on the passenger seat. "Wow, ang dami pa ring tao," I thought.

The suffocating carbon monoxide emitted by the numerous cars stuck in a traffic jam caught my attention. Classes and office hours have ended 3 hours ago and the mess brought by the rain sure is dingy, but why am I still blocked by this lousy congestion?

The rain comes out and plays with the melancholic and enigmatic aura of the darkness. They tease and taunt the eternal blackness with colorful displays of drama and of washing away the day’s worries. The night is dark so it can let the brightest shine in ways that one could never imagine — painting a colorful spectrum of contrasts in the wonderful canvass of life.

With a smug smile on my face, I softly whispered to the ethereal wind, "You must love rainy days." Ü

Anatomy Of A Broken Heart.

I need to post this for our Anatomy class. Don't read it anyway. Or maybe you should, to keep those brain cells active. Haha.♥

The ability of the body to control the flow of blood following vascular injury is paramount to continued survival. The process of blood clotting and then the subsequent dissolution of the clot, following repair of the injured tissue, is termed hemostasis. Hemostasis composed of 4 major events that occur in a set order following the loss of vascular integrity:

1. The initial phase of the process is vascular constriction. This limits the flow of blood to the area of injury.

2. Next, platelets become activated by thrombin and aggregate at the site of injury, forming a temporary, loose platelet plug. The protein fibrinogen is primarily responsible for stimulating platelet clumping. Platelets clump by binding to collagen that becomes exposed following rupture of the endothelial lining of vessels. Upon activation, platelets release the nucleotide, ADP and the eicosanoid, TXA2 (both of which activate additional platelets), serotonin, phospholipids, lipoproteins, and other proteins important for the coagulation cascade. In addition to induced secretion, activated platelets change their shape to accommodate the formation of the plug.

3. To insure stability of the initially loose platelet plug, a fibrin mesh (also called the clot) forms and entraps the plug. If the plug contains only platelets it is termed a white thrombus; if red blood cells are present it is called a red thrombus.

4. Finally, the clot must be dissolved in order for normal blood flow to resume following tissue repair. The dissolution of the clot occurs through the action of plasmin.

Two pathways lead to the formation of a fibrin clot: the intrinsic and extrinsic pathway. Although they are initiated by distinct mechanisms, the two converge on a common pathway that leads to clot formation.

The formation of a red thrombus or a clot in response to an abnormal vessel wall in the absence of tissue injury is the result of the intrinsic pathway. The intrinsic pathway has low significance under normal physiological conditions. Most significant clinically is the activation of the intrinsic pathway by contact of the vessel wall with lipoprotein particles, VLDLs and chylomicrons. This process clearly demonstrates the role of hyperlipidemia in the generation of atherosclerosis. The intrinsic pathway can also be activated by vessel wall contact with bacteria.

Fibrin clot formation in response to tissue injury is the most clinically relevant event of hemostasis under normal physiological conditions. This process is the result of the activation of the extrinsic pathway. Both pathways are complex and involve numerous different proteins termed clotting factors.

RH FACTORS

Scientists sometimes study Rhesus monkeys to learn more about the human anatomy because there are certain similarities between the two species. While studying Rhesus monkeys, a certain blood protein was discovered. This protein is also present in the blood of some people. Other people, however, do not have the protein. The presence of the protein, or lack of it, is referred to as the Rh (for Rhesus) factor.

If your blood does contain the protein, your blood is said to be Rh positive (Rh+). If your blood does not contain the protein, your blood is said to be Rh negative (Rh-).

This Rh factor is connected to your blood type. For example, your blood may be AB+ which means that you have type AB blood with a positive Rh factor. Or, you might have O- blood which means that you have type O blood with a negative Rh factor.

It is particularly important for expectant mothers to know their blood's Rh factor. Occasionally, a baby will inherit an Rh positive blood type from its father while the mother has an Rh negative blood type. The baby's life could be in great danger if the mother's Rh negative blood attacks the baby's Rh positive blood. If this happens, an exchange transfusion may save the baby's life. The baby's blood can be exchanged for new blood that matches the mother's.

Wake-up Call.

Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more. - Grey's Anatomy

The Infatuation Is Always There.

The coldest day of November so far was drawing to a close and a drowsy silence lay over the large, square houses of Liboton Street. Cars that were usually gleaming stood misty in their drives and lawns that were once emerald green lay wet and dingy. Deprived of their usual rumor mongering and entertaining pursuits, the inhabitants of Liboton Street had retreated into the shade of their cool houses, windows kept close in the hope of defying the existent breeze. The only person left outdoors is a teenage girl satisfied with mouthfuls of Bread Pan, lying flat on her back in a hammock outside number twenty-five.

Deep in nirvana, she was clinging into some absurd optimism. She was hoping -- no, pleading that a ray of light will appear out of the blue, and shower hope to her falsely bright and cheerful days. She could not think. A tingling sensation was spreading throughout her, paralyzing her arms, legs and brain.

Profound thinking was quite necessary for times like this, but in her case, it wasn't. And with her present condition, concentration was hard to attain, too.

The surrounding silence was broken by odd rustlings and what sounded like cracking of twigs: she thought that they were caused by animals rather than people, yet she kept her fist held tight at the ready. Her insides, already uncomfortable due to the inadequate helping of chlorophyll syrup, tingled with unease.

She had thought that she would feel elated if she managed to confess everything to Charm, but somehow she did not; all she felt was worry about what would happen next. It was as though she had been hurtling toward this point for weeks, months, maybe even years, but now she had come to an abrupt halt, run out of road.

Dawn was coming up: The pure, pitch black vastness of the sky stretched over her, indifferent to her and her suffering. She sat down in the hammock and took a deep breath of clean air. Simply to be alive to watch the moon rise over the sparkling humid field ought to have been the greatest treasure on earth, yet she could not appreciate it. Her senses had been spiked by the calamity of losing something. She looked out over a tree blanketed in mud, distant fallen leaves chiming through the glittering silence.

The pain brought by constant changes grew worse. Even chocolates were no helping matters. As seconds lingered to minutes, minutes to hours, and hours to days, she thought, "Everything is said and done."

She has convinced herself to not moan over things, convinced herself that everything's going to be alright and the pieces shattered are going to be put back where it belonged. But in reality, it wouldn't be that easy.

And as she buries all these thoughts in a silent amnesia, she began to wonder, “Why do all good things come to an end?"

Come One, Come All.

Welcome, creatures from this planet and beyond. Veronica Page Chavez here. Hi, Ma'am Carandang! Hehe. Wala lang.

Lunacy Fringe.

Most of the sophomores are all going frantic and crazy for the event on Saturday: the distribution of cards. Just imagine this, 78 students are under probation on our year. Damn, that includes half the population of our batch. And that can include ME. Jaw-dropping, eye-boggling, heartbeat rushing, anxiety prone are the best adjectives to describe it. My friends and I [Lala, Jerald, Micah, Cam2, Charm and I] were so worried that we even made mushy farewells and foretell what lies ahead for us.

I really want to brag my hinanakit-s but I'm too stupid to write it. I can't think straight. Sigh, when will this end? I've been feeling ill all week. So ill, that I attempted to eat the flesh of Bea.

And oh, if my parents look for me on Saturday, just tell them that I'm in a good condition, I've taken my vitamins, I have enough money by my side and I'm just at Krizzia's house revising our research. Haha. Our maybe you shouldn't.

Consistency and expectations are two of the worst, if not the worst cancers. They can eat you up without you even knowing it, when you least expect it. Sometimes, you may even think, probably its better to not excel that much. Because when you stumble, people tend to get berserk and dismayed with hideous reactions to match. But in defiance of that matter, that's still how mankind lives. The trend is, we focus more on an individual weakness, rather than its strength and expertise. Perhaps because, that's what our culture offers us. And up to now, no one still bothers to change it.

"I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines. We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way." How I hope I can just sing this to my parents. Wish me luck on Saturday. ='c

'Pag break na kayo, i-text mo ako.

Left: I was flipping through the files of my sister's USB when I found this. That's my little brother, Paolo. Ang cute! Haha.

Right: Paolo again, now slowly evolving into some freaky, vicious monster.

With A Little Help From My Friends.

I love my friends. And I owe a lot to them. Just keep it secret, okay?

In my daydreams, in my sleep,
Infatuation turning into disease.
You could cure me, see all you have to do now is please try.
Give it your best shot and try.
All I'm asking for is love,
But you never seem to have enough.
I've gotta feel you in my bones again.
I'm all over you.
-All Over You, The Spill Canvas

The lyrics are bit contrasting. The singer probably can't make up his mind. Haha, like me. But that was before. I've make up my mind. I'm all over you.

He Wasn't.

hindi ako makasulat ng maigi, nasa likod ko kasi si papa. ang dami ko pa naman sanang gustong linawin. walang freedom of speech tuloy. mamaya na nga lang.

__________________________________________________________________

now playing: iris by paolo santos

now that i'm all alone in this cold misty night, i guess i can already say what i suppose to say hours ago. this post is actually meant to clear out all untangled prophecies that involves my name. the good, the bad and the likes. for the past few months, a lot of people have been coming to me with silly misconceptions. yung iba nakakainis, ang iba malalaglag ka sa upuan sa katatawa at habang ang iba'y hindi ka papatulugin sa kakaisip. so seat back, relax, and enjoy this juicy disclosures. just remember, this post is not intended to neither offend nor embarass anybody. i'll give easy hints on the way, para walang ma-LG. bato bato sa langit, ang tamaan huwag magagalit. ;)


PROPHECY NO. 1: THE GUY
he was the subject and focus of most of my entries last semestral break. i've given him different codenames which got some people intrigued. so now, see clearly, 'cause i think whoever is reading this do have the right to know. ABCDEGHIKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. ano ang kulang? just a little analysis and you'll get it right. as of now, i don't like him and i'm not psyched when he appers online on my list. i just don't know what've gotten into me to notice him so badly. hindi ko lang talaga alam. all i know is that i don't like him anymore and he loves you so dearly, charm. [err, another clue there. gets niyo na ba?]

PROPHECY NO. 2: THE OTHER GUY
to the creatures who visit my profile on friendster more often than this blog can misconceive something. he's not my crush or my boyfriend, okay? and i've done nothing to hurt his feeling either. how awful can it be to hear that your crush's picture has a fee? okay, it's awful, but that IS reality. it's not me, it's you. haha. in my opinion, he started all of it. the hearsays, the ilangan, the misunderstandings and all. he said he don't want people with too much pride. hark who's talking. but i'm always open for knee-bent beggings or simple yet sincere apologies. [haha! ang kapal.]

PROPHECY NO. 3: THE LOVELESS
oh well, that's me! i'm back to my good 'ol days. tsaka, patama pala yan sa pamilya ko. pano kasi, they don't believe that i don't have a suitor or a boyfriend. haha. there's no rush for that matter. besides, i'm just 13. i'm still young. and i think it would be best for me to enjoy thy single-hood.

and before i forgot, HAPPY MONTHSARY SA 1.2.3.BOOM! I love you guys!

a lot more stronger,

Nica

TUYO ng DAMDAMIN.

One breath, two. Then I dove. I faced the icy stares head on as I continued to cover my mouth with my hanky. With my head bowed to present modesty, I went straight on, oblivious to everything.

Tuyo ng Damdamin is dry feelings, not a guy who's first year college, Charm.

Pahabol: Veronica Page Chavez, dead on arrival. This is just her ghost typing. Boo!

You've Got Me Wrapped Around Your Fingers. Do You Have To Make It Linger?

Found time that isn’t mine
Stole from the world, guilty of my crime
How high can we both fly?
You answer so soft
That you could never be mine
'Cause everything’s too complicated
But you wish we could be
It’s wishful thinking that you will
Leave everything for me,
I know you’re scared to get hurt
It may sound cliché but I’m here to stay
For you I will do whatever it takes, yeah.

I may be a fool
It doesn’t really matter
As long as I’m with you
I don’t seem to care
For now I’ll just sit back for awhile
Wait for awhile

Things get in the way
2 things get in the way
Those damn things get in the way
2 things get in the way.

Two Things - Urbandub

You Know I'm No Good.

Ayan, nagkabukingan na ang lahat. Charm and Meggie know, the whole 1.2.3.BOOM! gang knows and a few people on my batch has heard something about someone too. My karma, I guess. Bahala sila, di naman kasi totoo.

For the past few days, I've been hearing a lot of conceit and pride. Especially from the male populace. It really irritated me when I knew about these things. Walang hiya. Sino ba sila sa inaakala nila? They're just mere Homo sapiens that come and go on every girl's life. I even made that my status message on YM today. 'awoo! katurn-off ang mga MAYAYABANG ai! beh! mtamaan ka sna. >:P' --- that's my status. And well, maraming natamaan. Haha. Guilty? I rather not speak who that guy, I mean who those guys are. Kawawa naman sila, ibulgar ko pa dito ang kayabangan nila.


I don't have a topic for today. I feel lazy to narrate who those guys are. Interesting pa naman sana. Hmmm. Nothing actually happened. Only a lot more lies unraveled. Its like the truth's really hard to find these days. No one's sincere and honest anymore. Well, bahala na sila doon sa part na yun. Its their choice.

You, are you truthful?


Spare me. You know I'm no good. ♥

Harder and harder to Breathe.

I don't know if its just my fanciful senses malfunctioning again or if fate is just hitting me bigtime. And when I mean hitting, I mean in a very, very cruel, unforgivable and unthinkable manner.

Things are just getting out of hands. Just like now, online nga ang mga paborito kong ka-chat pero masyado naman akong okupado sa ginagawa ko. Syeeet!! Ano ba kasing problema ni Satanas? Bakit niya ba ako pinapasurahahan ng gani-ganito lang? Kung gusto niya ng mga karamaldumal na mga kasalanan, edi yung mga walang hiyang magnanakaw na lang sana ang ginawa niyang biktima, hindi isang problemadong at di-hamak na estudyante! Waah! Ang sarap kumain ng tao!!

Haha. Anong connect?


Oh, I have a recent example. My brother just asked me, "Ate, may 31 ang October?" I thought of it for a while, but instead of just saying "ugwa", I turned all red and said "ABA MALAY KO! MAY KALENDARYO KAYA AKO PA ANG HAHAPUTUN MO! DAI MO DAW AKO PAG-ISTURBUHUN!" While the first statement is shorter and a lot better, I don't know what came into my mind and utter the second one instead. Which was rather wrong and offending.

1) My migraine's been attacking me 3 days straight resulting to unsatisfying sleeps and deficient works and chores, 2) a guy won't quit catching my attention, 3) by now you'll think of me as 'ang pinakamayabang at pinakamakapal na babae sa balat ng lupa' (But I don't really give a damn about that. Not now dudes and dudettes), 4) I still haven't found an example of Mindoro music (Duh? Where on surface of the earth can I find such thing within 24 hours?), 5) I tried out for a position on Photojournalism for the PressCon on Wednesday, something that I clearly have no clue of which left me frantic and worried and lastly, 6) the distribution of cards is next week which adds up to my torment and worry.

Agonizing temper and patience. That's what the things above just brought me.

Save me. First day back to school and its so much harder to breathe. ;c

Dirty Little Secrets.

The semestral break is uprightly boring. I hope I can go out of the house. I just don't have someone to be with. So, as a remedy for this sickness I did a list of trivias about moi. Not a lot of people really know these, so if you're an avid reader of this blog, you're lucky [Haha! As if anyone cares about my life. :)].

Wait. Mamaya na. Chow time.

I'm back. So let's start the list.

1. I brush my teeth with my right eye closed.
2. I love rainy days.
3. I'm crazy when I'm happy. I keep on jumping, giggling and catching everyone's attention. I tell you, I really am crazy when I'm happy.
4. I go straight to bed when I'm tired. Not putting in mind how starving or how dirty I am.
5. I have large range of love for music. I can listen to classic love songs by The Temptations and Stevie Wonder and still find tunes by Switchfoot and The Used extremely rockin'.
6. When I miss someone and he's/she's online on my list, and I'm too shy to start the conversation, I'll send him/her a morning, afternoon or evening greeting with a '[//gm].'
7. I find pleasure in treating my friends.
8. I don't have a cellphone!
9. When I find a teacher boring, there are always scribbling of swears, lyrics of a song that's stuck in my head or geometric figures at the back of my subject notebook.
10. I don't eat a Piattos Cheese.
11. The smell of strong perfumes and smoke makes me puke and dizzy.
12. I always bring my diary at school.
13. I used to love wrestling.
14. When my pen is not working, I write smileys at the last page of my diary.
15. I love Korean movies but don't show any interest on Koreanovelas.
16. I hate, abhor, loathe people who are magnificent in Math and drawing. [So if you are either one, or both, you better not show off infront of me. Or I'll take your flesh to the peak of Mt. Everest and let avalanches[tama ba ang spelling?!] eat you. Bwahahahaha!]
17. When I'm sad, lonely, angry, or suffering in other emotions that's concern with negativity, you can find me wallowing, weeping in the darkness, silently writing silly things on my right wrist[i'm right-handed, though] or even attempting to incise my pulses.
18. I laugh hysterically whenever I hear someone badmouthing in Tagalog.
19. When I'm bored, overjoyed, or in sorrow, crazy thoughts IN ENGLISH are playing in my mind. As if I'm writing in my blog.[Hahahahahaha!]
20. I'm obsessive-compulsive with my stuff but NEVER with my life.
21. I have terrible mood swings. i can be overfilling with euphoria, and with the blink of an eye, I can kill all the people that I see.
22. I don't do sTiCkY cApS on the net. I think its just waste of time. What's wrong with - this?
    
23. I don't believe in aswangs, tiyanaks, manananggals or whatever you call them these days.
24. I am crazy, insane and childish. And I don't care of what you think about me? Hate me? Well that's your problem, deal with them yourself. Eat not my loss, eat yours. Birds of the same feather, look familiar.♥

Never Let Her Slip Away.

Hello, good morning, how you do? What makes your risin' sun so new? I could use a fresh beginning too. All of my regrets are nothing new. So this is a way, that I say I need you. This is a way, this is a way.

I'm no psychic myself so I'll make this as clear as I can. The first paragraph, in some form, had sarcasm. And yes, I'm referring to him again. That is why I'm going to direct so that in the long run, no one will wonder or suffer.

My point is never let her slip away. You know who your 'her' is, your *'lurb gerirg' or whatever you call her these days. Honestly, you two are compatible, and effortlessly look nice together. Heck, there is even a chance that you and her be a couple. Probably, you're just too clueless to figure that out.

So I guess I'll be a martyr myself. Just like what you did when she was in-love with someone else. But unlike me, just tell her. Tell her you love her for Christ's sake! Or if that won't work, remember what I used to tell you? Let her feel that you exist and you're someone who truly cares for her, although her priority is her studies. Forget that 'pain melts the love away' motto of yours,. Come on, martyrs don't last these days [and that's excluding me]. True love never melts. If its true, it stays, it never give up.

As for me, I'll stick to what Naxcz, Hilera and The Apo Hiking Society keeps on saying, 'Mahirap Magmahal ng Syota ng Iba.' I'm so stupid to fall for you anway.

I never, never thought that I would fall like that. Never knew that I could hurt this bad.

Notes by the author:
> In case you're wondering, the guys I'm referring on 'this love has taken its toll on me', 'pinagkaitan ng panahon at pag-ibig' and on this post are all the same.
> The lines that are on blockquote are from the song Learning to Breathe by Switchfoot.
> This is my last post about him. Period.
> This will be the last time so remember that, whenever I put an asterisk[*] they are clearly just codenames to protect their identity and my privacy.

Cheers.♥

Misery Business.

ako ay nag-iisa sa gitna ng isang malamig at maulan na gabi. gusto mo ba akong samahan?

i thought listening to Justine Timberlake's tunes and looking for the lyrics of Lifehouse's 'Everything' will make me feel better. but i am so, so wrong. in fact, i've never felt to lonely in my entire life.

no, scratch that.

when i made my first line my status message in YM, it seem to attract a number of people. lyra, niña, jj and jajagirl, thanks for the company. even for just a while.

and lyra noticed me in that article meggie and i made last year! haha. i thought nobody knew that was me. oh well, that was the past. hmm. was and past, two words i'm not really sure of speaking of.

i was suppose to write a quote that was on the first pages of 'blood memory.' but . . . i . . . can't seem to find . . . the book. its probably downstairs.

i'm so bored. i hope someone will buzz me or something.

i kept on playing 'hate that i love you of rihanna and ne-yo' hoping that it will sink in my ears . . . and in my heart. haha. baduyon! this is probabaly one of the effects of being alone in a rainy, rainy night.

i think this ends it. the internet's burning, melting my sanity again. haha. see?

Love Will Keep Us Alive.

A word when rebundant becomes just another cliche. Eventually, it losses its meaning, it losses its essence. No matter how never-surging it is at first, after some time, it gets old, it gets sour. Because of overuse, it becomes too deafening until we hear no more ---- until we feel no more.

In life, there are things that are better left unsaid. Because words, when impetuously spoken, are impossible to take back. Even a promise itself is made 'meant to be broken' . . . and hearts, once shattered, are difficult to mend.

Love is one of the most hackeneyed words. But still, the mere utterance of it changes everything. Because it darts through the very core of our being. No explantaions required. It brings a vast array of emotions . . . fear, ache, mirth. Truly, it is what makes the world go round.

Truth be told, we hurt because we love. And in spite the pain, we choose to linger without inhibitions, even if it's unrequited. We endure because we care.

Love, if it stays, is real; if it doesn't, if it can't, then it's not. But there are, indeed, inevitable factors that make simple things complicated. There comes a point in a person existence when he will have to resist the urge of feeling such a great emotion no matter how powerless he is to do so because he has to. And though, achingly, there is a choice, there seems to be none.

It is a sacrifice, but if it's genuine, it won't ever cease. It is unconditional.

The world is in love . . . that is why people are still struggling to fight the unthinkable. Call it crazy, but we'll keep on loving.♥

Upside Down.

ay labb dees dei beri mats. i'll explain this later. i'm in some sort-of hurry.

the other pictures are still on jenny's cam. and i'll edit this if i still have time. and maybe narrate why 'ay labb dees dei beri mats.' bye for now!

This love has taken its toll on ME.

I smiled, blushingly. It was actually more of a giggle if you have seen me. It was pretty obvious that I was trying to contain myself on the saccharine kilig-ness i was encountering.

A few inches away from me stood the reason of this uncontrollable euphoria. His innocent blissful eyes gazed right back at me. Sigh. I thought I'd faint. It was really impossible to resist that smile of his. That spirited and annoyingly cute smile of his.

And exactly at that moment, I heard Toni Gonzaga's famous lyrics play on my mind. "Catch me, I'm falling for you!" Haha. Apologies. ^_^

Buried Myself Alive.

i am so exhausted.

so damn exhausted, to be exact. that's why i feel so relieved that the exams are all done and sem break is fast approaching. academically, the only headache that left me is the revisal of chapter one and again, that stupid stuff toy virus which clearly have no clue of.

outside, these may be the only things that pains me. but deep down inside, i'm dying, decaying, falling apart, withering, sinking or whatever you may call it.

i don't really know why. its just not self-explanatory. i'm so jaded of what's been happening. I'M SO F*CKING TIRED! ayoko na! gusto kong umiyak pero wala namang akong maiiyakan. wala naman makakaintindi sa akin. hai. bahala na si batman.

"i'm damaged inside, still i act cool . . . i need a protection from this cruel world, away from the pain and all the fools. i need a hero cause i'm afraid, hear me out i'm calling . . . are you there?" - from my sister, victoria's multiply

Mabuhay ang lahat ng Single.

Wala lang. Naisipan ko lang naman na ilagay ang nilalaman ng aking isipan.

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Oo, yan ang laman ng isip ko. Hai. Galaw. Galaw! Baka ma-stroke. Gumising ka na kahit tulog ako. Unahan tayo! Masaya ang buhay. Huwag magpapahuli.

Trying to be sane . . . again,

♥ Nica ♥

Its a long way to the top if you wanna Rock and Roll.

For know she's trying to keep her focus on the looming terror of the quarterly exam and Mr. You-Know-Who.

I was suppose to fullfill that. But badly, I can't. I miss my blog and undoubtedly, from the core of her heart, my blog needs me to.

For almost two weeks, I haven't keep an update what's been happening to my so-called life. My bestfriend and I continue to grow distant, I've received two marriage proposals, yes, a marriage proposal, I had my first cry in my sophomore year, I slept at 3 in the morning for a project that, grudgingly, wasn't supposed to be submit later that day, I had a fight and a reconcilation with a unknown-status person and my friends knew a secret that should really just stay a secret.

Actually, the only thing that troubles me now is that 'stuff toy virus' in Biology and well, our exam. Put the blame on me if I can't post a thorough discussion of what's really happening to me these days. See, I'm still busy looking for pictures of Chris, Dino, AJ and Carlo. Sigh, young love.

I'll keep in touch. Take care,

♥Nica♥

Over-time.

These will be for Jess. Ü

Under Pressure.

This will be a really quick update. I haven't updated for almost 2 weeks. I'm super busy. Even just with that damn research. Thank God [and Jannah!] we already have a title. Its 11:57 PM. And the rumbling of leaves really freaks me out. Help me!

Happy Birthday Lala and Renille!♥♥♥

Light with the Sharpened Edge.

i'm in deep penury today.

hindi ko talaga alam kung saan ko nawawaldas ang aking mahahalagang salapi. basta. parang may humuhugot na magnetic force tapos mapupunta na lang yung pera ko sa outer space. nakakainis, sobra.

ngayon araw, pumunta ako sa paaralan ng wala masayadong pera sa aking bulsa. yung eksakto lang talaga sa pamasahe at pagkain ko. noong malapit ng mag-uwian, tinignan ko yung wallet ko para siguraduhin na may pamasahe pa ako. tapos nung pagbukas ko ----- wala! tinignan ko dun sa loob na wallet ---- wala rin! anak ng teteng. huminto ang mundo ko. pano na yan? pano ako makakauwi? naisip ko na agad ang mangyayari sa 'kin. baka matulad na rin ako dun sa mga batang nagtitinda ng kalamansi sa centro o kaya yung mga pulubing tuwang-tuwang nangangalabit sa may chowking. o baka makita mo na lang ako sa ginta ng lansangan, nabubulok at butas ang tiyan.

back to reality. may nakalimutan ako. may salita naman palang 'kaibigan'.

ang sitwasyong ito ang tumukoy sa aking mga totoong kaibigan. pause. i'll just write this in english. you know, those type of friends who'll always have a hand to stretch. who's always there with you in ups and downs [drama!]. and well, i feel so blessed i belonged to a good group of friends not just some pile of crap.

so, i want to show my highest gratitude to krizzia and to the treat of micah and jenny. heart you guys!

PS. it's 21 today. a happy 9th montsary to the ca. and fob's been here since yesterday. boo for me. :|

Da Teyk Uberr, D Breik's Oobeeiir.

I feel silly today. No, very silly, actually.

I don't know. Random, funny things just keep on entering my mind. For a moment, I like to baby talk then I want to speak in Visayan accent. It just felt weird. Really, really weird.

Sh*t, I still have this article to finish. I submitted movie reviews and my article was chosen. Pero, ngayon binigyan kami ni Charm ni Ate Lady ng novel-length ng mga reviews para i-summarize. Pakxet. Magpapakamatay na talaga ako mamaya.

Tapos, para dumagdag pa ang kalbaryong aking pinapasan, may lima kaming pagsusubok bukas. Limang mahahabang pagsususulit. 'Waah! May tatlo pa palang plates na idra-drawing sa Bio!'

I better keep these hormones moving. A little enthusiasm, that's all I need.

By the way, here's Fall Out Boy's and Timbaland's One and Only. Another LSS. Wala lang, nakakarelate kasi ako. :D

To be despised
To be loved
To be dreamt of
To be sought
On the inside
I don't care
Right in the middle
I'm right in the middle
To be despised
To be loved
To be dreamt of
To be sought
On the inside
I don't care
Be my unholy
My one and my lonely
-One and Only by Fall out Boy feat. Timbaland

Conversations with Fire.

her name registered on my messenger list like magic. i recalled adding her up, but it was a couple of centuries ago.

she was my seatmate on my 5th and 6th grade at USI. but we've never gotten really close. perhaps its our individual differences. see, she was the creme dela creme, the head-turner, the flawless beauty. everyone admires her. everyone wants to be in her shoes. as for me, it was the opposite. i was the private wallflower. i was quiet, belonged to a small group of friends and exceptionally UNtalented. but still, i embraced nonentity.

leix_daramjue15 - this window suddenly popped up. 'sino yan?', she said, referring to my displayed picture. it was the side-view jerald. hai, si jerald a.ka. gg, ang pinkamagaling na bakla na nakilala ko sa balat ng lupa. 'isang sinumpang babae', i just replied. our conversation led from one thing to another, that there even came to a point where she said, 'tama na daw yan, basta si mama mary ang pinakamagayun.'

i'm glad she didn't just remembered me as 'yung babae nagtutro sa kanya sa math.' and despite the distinctiveness and the distance that divides[quadruple d.haha!] us, we still kept in touch with each other.

and so i was pleased . . . though i just had conversations with fire.

P.S. this was the picture she was referring to. ang sinumpang babae, si jeraldine josephine san pabling.

♥♥♥

Pilipino! Pilipino!

The list below shows the symptoms tha you are watching a good 'ol pinoy action movie. This was taken form Bob Ong's "Bakit Baliktad Magbasa ng Libro ang mga Pilipino?" Enjoy!

1. Umiikot ang istorya sa paghihighanti.

2. Ni-rape ang kapatid ng bida o pinatay ang kamaganak n'ya ( nanay, tatay, ate, kuya, kinakapatid, kabiyak, syota, kulasisi, anak, pinsan, tiyo, tiya, lolo, lola, ninong, ninang, apo, etc..)

3. Isa sa mga eksena ay babastusin ang bida, o ang syota n'ya, ng mga nag-iinumang istambay.

4. Magkakagulo sa isang okasyon ( birthday, kasal, binyag, burol )

5. Hindi nakakaramdam ng sakit ang bida sa bakbakan, pero sisigaw ito at aaray pag ginagamot na ng leading lady ang mga sugt n'ya.

6. Pag narinig mong tumawa ang isang karakter nang "bwahahaha", automatic, kontrabida 'yon.

7. Pag may gagawing masama, tumatawa ang kontrabida, kahit habang nanggagahasa.

8. Smoker at mabisyo lagi ang kontrabida.

9. Mahilig sa leather jacket ang kontrabida. Kahit buwan ng Abril at tanghaling tapat.

10. Ang structure ng mga kalaban: Ang Boss at ang kanyang "mga bata".

11. Ang kuta ng mga kalaban e sa warehuose o malaking bahay.

12. Lagi ding may eksena sa isang beer house.

13. May seksing leading lady at may bed scene na pwedeng ikwento sa Abante.

14. Pagkatapos ng nagbabagang bed scene ay mahinhin uli ang leading lady.

15. Marunong sa bakbakan ang babae, at kung isang lalaki lang naman e kayang-kaya nitong patumbahin.

16. Kung mako-corner ang bida, hindi ito papatayin, ikukulong lang at pahihirapan dahil lagi syang gustong mahuli nang buhay ng big Boss.

17. Pagdating ng big boss, papatayin din sya, pinatagal lang ng konti.

18. Mag-uusap ang bida at ang mortal na kalaban nito habang nagtututukan ng baril..... mahabang pag-uusap, parang balagtasan, tila baga mag-syotang nasa telepono.

19. May malakas na pagpapasabog kahit hindi naman kailangan.

20. Walang malakas na pagpapasabog kahit kailangan.

21. Mura lang ang baril at pwede itong itapon kung wala nang bala.

22. Makakapulot ang bida ng baril na may bala tuwing kinakailangan.

23. Marunong at asintado sa baril ang leading lady kahit na hindi pa sya nakakahawak nito sa buong buhay nya.

24. Kaya ng bida ang dalawampung tao sa bakbakan dahil hindi naman sila sumusugod nang sabay-sabay, laging isa-isa, parang nagsasayaw.

25. Hindi tinatamaan ng bala ang bida kahit na tatlumpong tao na ang bumabaril sa kanya, pero lahat sila ay tinatamaan nya.

26. Tamaan man sya ng bala ay laging daplis lang....bawal sa ulo o sa puso.

27. Siyam ang buhay ng bida.

28. Doble pa nito ang buhay ng leading lady.

29. Kung mamamatay man ang isa sa kanila e makakapagsalita pa ito ng isang page na script bago malagutan ng hininga.

30. Pagkatapos pakinggan ang farewell speech, titingala ang naulila at isisigaw ang pangalan ng namatay.

31. Pero hindi lubusang nagiging ulila ang bida dahil kadalasan itong may spare na partner.

32. Huling darating ang maraming pulis at didiretso agad sila sa pag-aaresto sa mga kalaban. Oo, paramg may palatandaan sila kung sino ang mga kalaban....at wala silang pakialam sa bida, kahit na sangkot ito sa riot.

The Chronicle of Life and Death.

This post includes different topics. Topics that have been bugging me lately. By the way, I want to wish Avytte and Mr. Burger Boy[JJ] a happy, happy birthday yesterday.

TOPIC NO. 1: PIMPLES

I hate having pimples. They're like little demons on your faces. They lower your self-esteem and there may even be chances of people to stay away from you. That's why I'm so thankful that these 2 tiny pimples on my right cheek is already gone. With the daily treatment of Panoxyl and a hard-earned patience, they vanished after a few days. But I still have these two tiny ones on the other side! Badtrip. Why are pimples invented anyway?

TOPIC NO. 2: DINO RICARDO IMPERIAL
I'm eternally grateful to Candy for making him this month's cover. Now I can see his adorable face whenever I wish to. But that's not my point. See, I'm already going crazy about him. He's cute, can twist his tongue and dance adorably. Call me crazy, but that's what I feel about him. I just hope this won't lead to something. Desperation maybe?

Grab a copy and make a flood!
And visit this link too for a double flood!
I'll update this when I can. I'll still watch movies. She's the Man or My Bestfriend's Wedding? Arggh. Confusion. XD

Sige, maglaway ka lang.

This picture of Ryro has been my displayed picture in YM for ages. Still can't get over his appealing face. Wee! Their new album will be released on early 2008. Please continue on supporting them[him] my dear co-P!ATD fans!

Pinagkaitan ng Panahon at Pag-ibig.

I miss someone. Must be a change, huh?

And the title of my post has just occurred to me a while ago.

For so many days, I've been longing for his company on the virtual world. Yahoo Messenger, that is. He's the only guy I'm comfortable chatting with. i'm very direct on him. I can instantly tell him my up-to-date disposition or my opinion on his status or displayed picture. And because of him, I may perhaps, change my view on saying bad words.

But fate, for as long as anyone can remember, have always been, and will always be cruel.[especially on me]

I can't catch him online anymore. Or when I do, I'm almost signing out or in the mood to empower invisibility. AND, he also got the hots for my almost-bestfriend.

The last part's fine with me. I even help him on impressing her. Besides, I'm not in-love with him or someting.

Or so I thought.

Eventually, he might be reading this. But, I don't mind, its all temporary anyway. These feelings of mine always come and go. So for now, here's all I wanna say:

I miss you ****! I wish I can chat with you as soon aspossible. Take care of *****! Gndang gbi! c:

So much of not enough.

its 12:09AM and i still have CAT training tomorrow, i mean later. you may even ask, why am i still up typing all these phrases that no one will even bother to read? right now i can't really decipher the answer and since i'm sleepy, i'll make this a short and straightforward post.

i'm happy. i'm sad.

happy. the DLMO won. our CAT's fancy drill was declared first. and the girls and boys platoon got some awards too. plus, traslacion. can you even describe the view at the top of the metropolitan cathedral? and though in this procession you have to smell what you shouldn't smell, the undescribable devotion of the bicolanos will make you forget that. i am happy. and the reasons are cited. DONE.

sad. earlier yesterday, i was in grieve depression. i was so miserable that i even attempted to incise my pulses. i'm not kidding, not at all. but instead, i bruised the other side of my arm. so if you'll come near me, a long scar is so downrightly visible. and oh, i also planned, just in my mind, my last will and testament. as bob ong says it, 'dito mo ipunin lahat nang galit mo at walang silang magagawa tungkol dito.' thus, i did. i blamed everyone who caused that displeasing misery. and all the bad words that were in my dictionary were found there.

before i forgot, i also thought of drinking alcohol, isopropyl alcohol. i even asked my brother if i'll go straight to death if i drink it. he said he don't know so i removed that from my list.DONE.

i'm done! and it's 12:39AM. i guess a typical 6-hour sleep will be fine. damn, looking back, i really do have some nasty mood swings. tsk3. adios!

Waiting on the World to Change.

"tanggapin mo na lang. sabihin mo, buhay ka pa, kaya nagbabago ka.

this statement has been wriggling in my tiny brain since dinner. that's what my dad told my mom when she was asked by her patients why she was getting slimmer, then after a month, fatter.

so i wondered, why is this sentence troubling me so much? actually, while my father was saying this, i was smiling, almost laughing. then i later realized, this group of words coincidentally summarized what happened to me today.

see, i'm a person who's really against changes. whether good or bad, i hate them. i hate it because everything is in plan, then something is altered or replaced [i still looked in the thesaurus what's the other word for change]. and when it do happens, i get extremely pissed off.

today, our cards were released. my grades were acceptable. 87 point something. and all my mom was saying is that i need some focus on my studies.

Happy Birthday Sa Iyo!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIÑA S. CRUZ! I WISH YOU GOOD HEALTH AND LONG LIFE. LOVE YOU! :D

Beautiful Boys.

Bestfriends. Pete Wentz and my lovey-dovey, Ryan Ross.

Those who don't approve that they're 2 of the most gorgeous guys on earth is a complete lunatic. One's the bassist of Fall Out Boy and the other is the guitarist of Panic! At The Disco. Two bands that I'm absolutely fond of. Not are they only rocking romeos, but these two 'hotties' have some hidden talent. Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III has written a book entitled "The Boy With the Thorn in His Side", which is a story based on nightmares he had as a child. While George Ryan Ross III is notably the original and only lyricist for songs on his band's debut album "A Fever You Can't Sweat Out." Ryro is also the one who's painting those cute carichatures on his faces.

Here in the Philippines I also consider these lads as beautiful boys.

A former crush of mine, Antonello Joseph S. Perez.

The object of my affection, Dino Ricardo Imperial.

Vincent Saldana. Daniel Radcliffe's Filipino version. [well, at least for me]

PS. Please do pardon me if the topic is sooo lame. I can't think of anything reasonable to write about. Idleness just strucked me a while ago. Ciao!

And just like The Movies.

I just watched The Omen on Star Movies and Spongebob Squarepants on HBO. These two movies are completely in contrast. The other's full of merriment and laughter while the other is full of horror and suspense. But I liked it both.

Then a question popped in my mind. What if these movies are real?

I know this is out of reality. But if its possible. Why not?

Then will have the devil's son somewhere. Creepy.

Across the Rainbow Bridge.

Oh well. This songs is for my disastrous section, 2-Hechanova. I hope everything we'll just fall into place guys. I know we can go through this. Just a large COOPERATION I guess. Peace out!

Twista - Hope

Man I know we had a lot of tradgedies lately,
I just want to say rest in peace to Aleah,
Rest in peace to Left Eye,
Rest in peace to Jam Master J,
And everybody lost in the Twin Towers,
And everybody lost period,
All we got is hope.

I wish the way I was living could stop, serving rocks,
Knowing the cops is hot when I'm on the block, And I
Wish my brother woulda made bail,
So I won't have to travel 6 hours to see him in jail, And I
Wish that my grandmother wasn't sick,
Or that we would just come up on some stacks and hit a lick, And I (I wish)
Wish my homies wouldn't have to suffer,
When the streets get the upper had on us and we lose a brother, And I
Wish I could go deep in a zone,
And lift the spirits of the world with the words with in this song, And I (I wish)
Wish I could teach a could teach a soul to fly,
Take away the pain out cha hands and help you hold them hi, And I
wish my hommie butch was still alive and on the
day of his death we had never took that ride
And I wish that God could protect us from the wrong so that all the soldiers were sent overseas come home and uh
We will never break, though they devistate, we shall motivate,
And we gotta pray, all we got is faith.
Instead of thinking about who gonna die to day,
The Lord is gonna help you feel better, so you ain't gotta cry today.
Sit at the light so long,
And then we gotta move straight forward, cuz we fight so strong,
So when right go wrong,
Just say a little prayer, get ya money man, life goes on!!!
Let's HOPE!

Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful, hopeful and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.
Cuz we hopeful!

I wish that you could show some love,
Instead of hatin so much when you see some other people commin up (I wish)
I wish I could teach the world to sing,
Watch the music and have 'em trippin of the joy I bring,
I wish that we could hold hands,
Listen instead of dissin lessons from a grown man, And I (I wish)
Wish the families that lack, but got love, get some stacks
Brand new shack and a lack that's on dubs, And I
Wish we could keep achieving wonders,
See the vision of the world through the eyes of Stevie Wonder, (you feel me) (I wish)
And I hope all the kids eat,
And don't nobody in my family see six feet, (ya dig)
I hope them mothers stand strong,
You can make it whether you wit him or your mans gone, And I (I wish)
Wish I could give every celly some commissary,
And the po po bring the heat on them priest like they did R. Kelly, And I
Wish that DOC could scream again
And bullets could reverse so Pac and Biggie breath again,(I wish)
Then one day they could speak again,
I wish that we only saw good news every time we look at CNN,
I wish we could never get the blues
Wish I could bring back the people that died at E2
I wish that we could walk a path, stay doin the right thing
Hustle hard so the kids maintain the right thing
Let's HOPE

Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful, hopeful and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.
Cuz we hopeful!

Wish the earth wasn't so apocalyptic,
I try to spread my message to the world the best way I can give it,
We can make it always be optimistic
If you don't listen gotta live my life the best way I can live it,
I pray for justice when we go to court,
Wish it was all good so the country never even went to war,
Why can't we kick it and just get em on,
And in the famous words of Mr. King "Why can't we all just get along",
Hope we can find a better way to shop in peace, And I
Hope we find a better way to cop for keys, And I
Wish everybody would just stop and freeze,
And ask way are we fulfillin these downfalls and prophecies,
You can be wrong if it's YOU doubting,
With the faith of a mustard seed you can move mountains,
And only the heavenly father can ease the hurt,
Just let it go and keep prayin on your knees in church!!
And let's HOPE

Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful, hopeful and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.
But we hopeful!