Light with the Sharpened Edge.

i'm in deep penury today.

hindi ko talaga alam kung saan ko nawawaldas ang aking mahahalagang salapi. basta. parang may humuhugot na magnetic force tapos mapupunta na lang yung pera ko sa outer space. nakakainis, sobra.

ngayon araw, pumunta ako sa paaralan ng wala masayadong pera sa aking bulsa. yung eksakto lang talaga sa pamasahe at pagkain ko. noong malapit ng mag-uwian, tinignan ko yung wallet ko para siguraduhin na may pamasahe pa ako. tapos nung pagbukas ko ----- wala! tinignan ko dun sa loob na wallet ---- wala rin! anak ng teteng. huminto ang mundo ko. pano na yan? pano ako makakauwi? naisip ko na agad ang mangyayari sa 'kin. baka matulad na rin ako dun sa mga batang nagtitinda ng kalamansi sa centro o kaya yung mga pulubing tuwang-tuwang nangangalabit sa may chowking. o baka makita mo na lang ako sa ginta ng lansangan, nabubulok at butas ang tiyan.

back to reality. may nakalimutan ako. may salita naman palang 'kaibigan'.

ang sitwasyong ito ang tumukoy sa aking mga totoong kaibigan. pause. i'll just write this in english. you know, those type of friends who'll always have a hand to stretch. who's always there with you in ups and downs [drama!]. and well, i feel so blessed i belonged to a good group of friends not just some pile of crap.

so, i want to show my highest gratitude to krizzia and to the treat of micah and jenny. heart you guys!

PS. it's 21 today. a happy 9th montsary to the ca. and fob's been here since yesterday. boo for me. :|

Da Teyk Uberr, D Breik's Oobeeiir.

I feel silly today. No, very silly, actually.

I don't know. Random, funny things just keep on entering my mind. For a moment, I like to baby talk then I want to speak in Visayan accent. It just felt weird. Really, really weird.

Sh*t, I still have this article to finish. I submitted movie reviews and my article was chosen. Pero, ngayon binigyan kami ni Charm ni Ate Lady ng novel-length ng mga reviews para i-summarize. Pakxet. Magpapakamatay na talaga ako mamaya.

Tapos, para dumagdag pa ang kalbaryong aking pinapasan, may lima kaming pagsusubok bukas. Limang mahahabang pagsususulit. 'Waah! May tatlo pa palang plates na idra-drawing sa Bio!'

I better keep these hormones moving. A little enthusiasm, that's all I need.

By the way, here's Fall Out Boy's and Timbaland's One and Only. Another LSS. Wala lang, nakakarelate kasi ako. :D

To be despised
To be loved
To be dreamt of
To be sought
On the inside
I don't care
Right in the middle
I'm right in the middle
To be despised
To be loved
To be dreamt of
To be sought
On the inside
I don't care
Be my unholy
My one and my lonely
-One and Only by Fall out Boy feat. Timbaland

Conversations with Fire.

her name registered on my messenger list like magic. i recalled adding her up, but it was a couple of centuries ago.

she was my seatmate on my 5th and 6th grade at USI. but we've never gotten really close. perhaps its our individual differences. see, she was the creme dela creme, the head-turner, the flawless beauty. everyone admires her. everyone wants to be in her shoes. as for me, it was the opposite. i was the private wallflower. i was quiet, belonged to a small group of friends and exceptionally UNtalented. but still, i embraced nonentity.

leix_daramjue15 - this window suddenly popped up. 'sino yan?', she said, referring to my displayed picture. it was the side-view jerald. hai, si jerald a.ka. gg, ang pinkamagaling na bakla na nakilala ko sa balat ng lupa. 'isang sinumpang babae', i just replied. our conversation led from one thing to another, that there even came to a point where she said, 'tama na daw yan, basta si mama mary ang pinakamagayun.'

i'm glad she didn't just remembered me as 'yung babae nagtutro sa kanya sa math.' and despite the distinctiveness and the distance that divides[quadruple d.haha!] us, we still kept in touch with each other.

and so i was pleased . . . though i just had conversations with fire.

P.S. this was the picture she was referring to. ang sinumpang babae, si jeraldine josephine san pabling.

♥♥♥

Pilipino! Pilipino!

The list below shows the symptoms tha you are watching a good 'ol pinoy action movie. This was taken form Bob Ong's "Bakit Baliktad Magbasa ng Libro ang mga Pilipino?" Enjoy!

1. Umiikot ang istorya sa paghihighanti.

2. Ni-rape ang kapatid ng bida o pinatay ang kamaganak n'ya ( nanay, tatay, ate, kuya, kinakapatid, kabiyak, syota, kulasisi, anak, pinsan, tiyo, tiya, lolo, lola, ninong, ninang, apo, etc..)

3. Isa sa mga eksena ay babastusin ang bida, o ang syota n'ya, ng mga nag-iinumang istambay.

4. Magkakagulo sa isang okasyon ( birthday, kasal, binyag, burol )

5. Hindi nakakaramdam ng sakit ang bida sa bakbakan, pero sisigaw ito at aaray pag ginagamot na ng leading lady ang mga sugt n'ya.

6. Pag narinig mong tumawa ang isang karakter nang "bwahahaha", automatic, kontrabida 'yon.

7. Pag may gagawing masama, tumatawa ang kontrabida, kahit habang nanggagahasa.

8. Smoker at mabisyo lagi ang kontrabida.

9. Mahilig sa leather jacket ang kontrabida. Kahit buwan ng Abril at tanghaling tapat.

10. Ang structure ng mga kalaban: Ang Boss at ang kanyang "mga bata".

11. Ang kuta ng mga kalaban e sa warehuose o malaking bahay.

12. Lagi ding may eksena sa isang beer house.

13. May seksing leading lady at may bed scene na pwedeng ikwento sa Abante.

14. Pagkatapos ng nagbabagang bed scene ay mahinhin uli ang leading lady.

15. Marunong sa bakbakan ang babae, at kung isang lalaki lang naman e kayang-kaya nitong patumbahin.

16. Kung mako-corner ang bida, hindi ito papatayin, ikukulong lang at pahihirapan dahil lagi syang gustong mahuli nang buhay ng big Boss.

17. Pagdating ng big boss, papatayin din sya, pinatagal lang ng konti.

18. Mag-uusap ang bida at ang mortal na kalaban nito habang nagtututukan ng baril..... mahabang pag-uusap, parang balagtasan, tila baga mag-syotang nasa telepono.

19. May malakas na pagpapasabog kahit hindi naman kailangan.

20. Walang malakas na pagpapasabog kahit kailangan.

21. Mura lang ang baril at pwede itong itapon kung wala nang bala.

22. Makakapulot ang bida ng baril na may bala tuwing kinakailangan.

23. Marunong at asintado sa baril ang leading lady kahit na hindi pa sya nakakahawak nito sa buong buhay nya.

24. Kaya ng bida ang dalawampung tao sa bakbakan dahil hindi naman sila sumusugod nang sabay-sabay, laging isa-isa, parang nagsasayaw.

25. Hindi tinatamaan ng bala ang bida kahit na tatlumpong tao na ang bumabaril sa kanya, pero lahat sila ay tinatamaan nya.

26. Tamaan man sya ng bala ay laging daplis lang....bawal sa ulo o sa puso.

27. Siyam ang buhay ng bida.

28. Doble pa nito ang buhay ng leading lady.

29. Kung mamamatay man ang isa sa kanila e makakapagsalita pa ito ng isang page na script bago malagutan ng hininga.

30. Pagkatapos pakinggan ang farewell speech, titingala ang naulila at isisigaw ang pangalan ng namatay.

31. Pero hindi lubusang nagiging ulila ang bida dahil kadalasan itong may spare na partner.

32. Huling darating ang maraming pulis at didiretso agad sila sa pag-aaresto sa mga kalaban. Oo, paramg may palatandaan sila kung sino ang mga kalaban....at wala silang pakialam sa bida, kahit na sangkot ito sa riot.

The Chronicle of Life and Death.

This post includes different topics. Topics that have been bugging me lately. By the way, I want to wish Avytte and Mr. Burger Boy[JJ] a happy, happy birthday yesterday.

TOPIC NO. 1: PIMPLES

I hate having pimples. They're like little demons on your faces. They lower your self-esteem and there may even be chances of people to stay away from you. That's why I'm so thankful that these 2 tiny pimples on my right cheek is already gone. With the daily treatment of Panoxyl and a hard-earned patience, they vanished after a few days. But I still have these two tiny ones on the other side! Badtrip. Why are pimples invented anyway?

TOPIC NO. 2: DINO RICARDO IMPERIAL
I'm eternally grateful to Candy for making him this month's cover. Now I can see his adorable face whenever I wish to. But that's not my point. See, I'm already going crazy about him. He's cute, can twist his tongue and dance adorably. Call me crazy, but that's what I feel about him. I just hope this won't lead to something. Desperation maybe?

Grab a copy and make a flood!
And visit this link too for a double flood!
I'll update this when I can. I'll still watch movies. She's the Man or My Bestfriend's Wedding? Arggh. Confusion. XD

Sige, maglaway ka lang.

This picture of Ryro has been my displayed picture in YM for ages. Still can't get over his appealing face. Wee! Their new album will be released on early 2008. Please continue on supporting them[him] my dear co-P!ATD fans!

Pinagkaitan ng Panahon at Pag-ibig.

I miss someone. Must be a change, huh?

And the title of my post has just occurred to me a while ago.

For so many days, I've been longing for his company on the virtual world. Yahoo Messenger, that is. He's the only guy I'm comfortable chatting with. i'm very direct on him. I can instantly tell him my up-to-date disposition or my opinion on his status or displayed picture. And because of him, I may perhaps, change my view on saying bad words.

But fate, for as long as anyone can remember, have always been, and will always be cruel.[especially on me]

I can't catch him online anymore. Or when I do, I'm almost signing out or in the mood to empower invisibility. AND, he also got the hots for my almost-bestfriend.

The last part's fine with me. I even help him on impressing her. Besides, I'm not in-love with him or someting.

Or so I thought.

Eventually, he might be reading this. But, I don't mind, its all temporary anyway. These feelings of mine always come and go. So for now, here's all I wanna say:

I miss you ****! I wish I can chat with you as soon aspossible. Take care of *****! Gndang gbi! c:

So much of not enough.

its 12:09AM and i still have CAT training tomorrow, i mean later. you may even ask, why am i still up typing all these phrases that no one will even bother to read? right now i can't really decipher the answer and since i'm sleepy, i'll make this a short and straightforward post.

i'm happy. i'm sad.

happy. the DLMO won. our CAT's fancy drill was declared first. and the girls and boys platoon got some awards too. plus, traslacion. can you even describe the view at the top of the metropolitan cathedral? and though in this procession you have to smell what you shouldn't smell, the undescribable devotion of the bicolanos will make you forget that. i am happy. and the reasons are cited. DONE.

sad. earlier yesterday, i was in grieve depression. i was so miserable that i even attempted to incise my pulses. i'm not kidding, not at all. but instead, i bruised the other side of my arm. so if you'll come near me, a long scar is so downrightly visible. and oh, i also planned, just in my mind, my last will and testament. as bob ong says it, 'dito mo ipunin lahat nang galit mo at walang silang magagawa tungkol dito.' thus, i did. i blamed everyone who caused that displeasing misery. and all the bad words that were in my dictionary were found there.

before i forgot, i also thought of drinking alcohol, isopropyl alcohol. i even asked my brother if i'll go straight to death if i drink it. he said he don't know so i removed that from my list.DONE.

i'm done! and it's 12:39AM. i guess a typical 6-hour sleep will be fine. damn, looking back, i really do have some nasty mood swings. tsk3. adios!

Waiting on the World to Change.

"tanggapin mo na lang. sabihin mo, buhay ka pa, kaya nagbabago ka.

this statement has been wriggling in my tiny brain since dinner. that's what my dad told my mom when she was asked by her patients why she was getting slimmer, then after a month, fatter.

so i wondered, why is this sentence troubling me so much? actually, while my father was saying this, i was smiling, almost laughing. then i later realized, this group of words coincidentally summarized what happened to me today.

see, i'm a person who's really against changes. whether good or bad, i hate them. i hate it because everything is in plan, then something is altered or replaced [i still looked in the thesaurus what's the other word for change]. and when it do happens, i get extremely pissed off.

today, our cards were released. my grades were acceptable. 87 point something. and all my mom was saying is that i need some focus on my studies.