Dirty Little Secrets.

The semestral break is uprightly boring. I hope I can go out of the house. I just don't have someone to be with. So, as a remedy for this sickness I did a list of trivias about moi. Not a lot of people really know these, so if you're an avid reader of this blog, you're lucky [Haha! As if anyone cares about my life. :)].

Wait. Mamaya na. Chow time.

I'm back. So let's start the list.

1. I brush my teeth with my right eye closed.
2. I love rainy days.
3. I'm crazy when I'm happy. I keep on jumping, giggling and catching everyone's attention. I tell you, I really am crazy when I'm happy.
4. I go straight to bed when I'm tired. Not putting in mind how starving or how dirty I am.
5. I have large range of love for music. I can listen to classic love songs by The Temptations and Stevie Wonder and still find tunes by Switchfoot and The Used extremely rockin'.
6. When I miss someone and he's/she's online on my list, and I'm too shy to start the conversation, I'll send him/her a morning, afternoon or evening greeting with a '[//gm].'
7. I find pleasure in treating my friends.
8. I don't have a cellphone!
9. When I find a teacher boring, there are always scribbling of swears, lyrics of a song that's stuck in my head or geometric figures at the back of my subject notebook.
10. I don't eat a Piattos Cheese.
11. The smell of strong perfumes and smoke makes me puke and dizzy.
12. I always bring my diary at school.
13. I used to love wrestling.
14. When my pen is not working, I write smileys at the last page of my diary.
15. I love Korean movies but don't show any interest on Koreanovelas.
16. I hate, abhor, loathe people who are magnificent in Math and drawing. [So if you are either one, or both, you better not show off infront of me. Or I'll take your flesh to the peak of Mt. Everest and let avalanches[tama ba ang spelling?!] eat you. Bwahahahaha!]
17. When I'm sad, lonely, angry, or suffering in other emotions that's concern with negativity, you can find me wallowing, weeping in the darkness, silently writing silly things on my right wrist[i'm right-handed, though] or even attempting to incise my pulses.
18. I laugh hysterically whenever I hear someone badmouthing in Tagalog.
19. When I'm bored, overjoyed, or in sorrow, crazy thoughts IN ENGLISH are playing in my mind. As if I'm writing in my blog.[Hahahahahaha!]
20. I'm obsessive-compulsive with my stuff but NEVER with my life.
21. I have terrible mood swings. i can be overfilling with euphoria, and with the blink of an eye, I can kill all the people that I see.
22. I don't do sTiCkY cApS on the net. I think its just waste of time. What's wrong with - this?
    
23. I don't believe in aswangs, tiyanaks, manananggals or whatever you call them these days.
24. I am crazy, insane and childish. And I don't care of what you think about me? Hate me? Well that's your problem, deal with them yourself. Eat not my loss, eat yours. Birds of the same feather, look familiar.♥

Never Let Her Slip Away.

Hello, good morning, how you do? What makes your risin' sun so new? I could use a fresh beginning too. All of my regrets are nothing new. So this is a way, that I say I need you. This is a way, this is a way.

I'm no psychic myself so I'll make this as clear as I can. The first paragraph, in some form, had sarcasm. And yes, I'm referring to him again. That is why I'm going to direct so that in the long run, no one will wonder or suffer.

My point is never let her slip away. You know who your 'her' is, your *'lurb gerirg' or whatever you call her these days. Honestly, you two are compatible, and effortlessly look nice together. Heck, there is even a chance that you and her be a couple. Probably, you're just too clueless to figure that out.

So I guess I'll be a martyr myself. Just like what you did when she was in-love with someone else. But unlike me, just tell her. Tell her you love her for Christ's sake! Or if that won't work, remember what I used to tell you? Let her feel that you exist and you're someone who truly cares for her, although her priority is her studies. Forget that 'pain melts the love away' motto of yours,. Come on, martyrs don't last these days [and that's excluding me]. True love never melts. If its true, it stays, it never give up.

As for me, I'll stick to what Naxcz, Hilera and The Apo Hiking Society keeps on saying, 'Mahirap Magmahal ng Syota ng Iba.' I'm so stupid to fall for you anway.

I never, never thought that I would fall like that. Never knew that I could hurt this bad.

Notes by the author:
> In case you're wondering, the guys I'm referring on 'this love has taken its toll on me', 'pinagkaitan ng panahon at pag-ibig' and on this post are all the same.
> The lines that are on blockquote are from the song Learning to Breathe by Switchfoot.
> This is my last post about him. Period.
> This will be the last time so remember that, whenever I put an asterisk[*] they are clearly just codenames to protect their identity and my privacy.

Cheers.♥

Misery Business.

ako ay nag-iisa sa gitna ng isang malamig at maulan na gabi. gusto mo ba akong samahan?

i thought listening to Justine Timberlake's tunes and looking for the lyrics of Lifehouse's 'Everything' will make me feel better. but i am so, so wrong. in fact, i've never felt to lonely in my entire life.

no, scratch that.

when i made my first line my status message in YM, it seem to attract a number of people. lyra, niña, jj and jajagirl, thanks for the company. even for just a while.

and lyra noticed me in that article meggie and i made last year! haha. i thought nobody knew that was me. oh well, that was the past. hmm. was and past, two words i'm not really sure of speaking of.

i was suppose to write a quote that was on the first pages of 'blood memory.' but . . . i . . . can't seem to find . . . the book. its probably downstairs.

i'm so bored. i hope someone will buzz me or something.

i kept on playing 'hate that i love you of rihanna and ne-yo' hoping that it will sink in my ears . . . and in my heart. haha. baduyon! this is probabaly one of the effects of being alone in a rainy, rainy night.

i think this ends it. the internet's burning, melting my sanity again. haha. see?

Love Will Keep Us Alive.

A word when rebundant becomes just another cliche. Eventually, it losses its meaning, it losses its essence. No matter how never-surging it is at first, after some time, it gets old, it gets sour. Because of overuse, it becomes too deafening until we hear no more ---- until we feel no more.

In life, there are things that are better left unsaid. Because words, when impetuously spoken, are impossible to take back. Even a promise itself is made 'meant to be broken' . . . and hearts, once shattered, are difficult to mend.

Love is one of the most hackeneyed words. But still, the mere utterance of it changes everything. Because it darts through the very core of our being. No explantaions required. It brings a vast array of emotions . . . fear, ache, mirth. Truly, it is what makes the world go round.

Truth be told, we hurt because we love. And in spite the pain, we choose to linger without inhibitions, even if it's unrequited. We endure because we care.

Love, if it stays, is real; if it doesn't, if it can't, then it's not. But there are, indeed, inevitable factors that make simple things complicated. There comes a point in a person existence when he will have to resist the urge of feeling such a great emotion no matter how powerless he is to do so because he has to. And though, achingly, there is a choice, there seems to be none.

It is a sacrifice, but if it's genuine, it won't ever cease. It is unconditional.

The world is in love . . . that is why people are still struggling to fight the unthinkable. Call it crazy, but we'll keep on loving.♥

Upside Down.

ay labb dees dei beri mats. i'll explain this later. i'm in some sort-of hurry.

the other pictures are still on jenny's cam. and i'll edit this if i still have time. and maybe narrate why 'ay labb dees dei beri mats.' bye for now!

This love has taken its toll on ME.

I smiled, blushingly. It was actually more of a giggle if you have seen me. It was pretty obvious that I was trying to contain myself on the saccharine kilig-ness i was encountering.

A few inches away from me stood the reason of this uncontrollable euphoria. His innocent blissful eyes gazed right back at me. Sigh. I thought I'd faint. It was really impossible to resist that smile of his. That spirited and annoyingly cute smile of his.

And exactly at that moment, I heard Toni Gonzaga's famous lyrics play on my mind. "Catch me, I'm falling for you!" Haha. Apologies. ^_^

Buried Myself Alive.

i am so exhausted.

so damn exhausted, to be exact. that's why i feel so relieved that the exams are all done and sem break is fast approaching. academically, the only headache that left me is the revisal of chapter one and again, that stupid stuff toy virus which clearly have no clue of.

outside, these may be the only things that pains me. but deep down inside, i'm dying, decaying, falling apart, withering, sinking or whatever you may call it.

i don't really know why. its just not self-explanatory. i'm so jaded of what's been happening. I'M SO F*CKING TIRED! ayoko na! gusto kong umiyak pero wala namang akong maiiyakan. wala naman makakaintindi sa akin. hai. bahala na si batman.

"i'm damaged inside, still i act cool . . . i need a protection from this cruel world, away from the pain and all the fools. i need a hero cause i'm afraid, hear me out i'm calling . . . are you there?" - from my sister, victoria's multiply

Mabuhay ang lahat ng Single.

Wala lang. Naisipan ko lang naman na ilagay ang nilalaman ng aking isipan.

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Oo, yan ang laman ng isip ko. Hai. Galaw. Galaw! Baka ma-stroke. Gumising ka na kahit tulog ako. Unahan tayo! Masaya ang buhay. Huwag magpapahuli.

Trying to be sane . . . again,

♥ Nica ♥

Its a long way to the top if you wanna Rock and Roll.

For know she's trying to keep her focus on the looming terror of the quarterly exam and Mr. You-Know-Who.

I was suppose to fullfill that. But badly, I can't. I miss my blog and undoubtedly, from the core of her heart, my blog needs me to.

For almost two weeks, I haven't keep an update what's been happening to my so-called life. My bestfriend and I continue to grow distant, I've received two marriage proposals, yes, a marriage proposal, I had my first cry in my sophomore year, I slept at 3 in the morning for a project that, grudgingly, wasn't supposed to be submit later that day, I had a fight and a reconcilation with a unknown-status person and my friends knew a secret that should really just stay a secret.

Actually, the only thing that troubles me now is that 'stuff toy virus' in Biology and well, our exam. Put the blame on me if I can't post a thorough discussion of what's really happening to me these days. See, I'm still busy looking for pictures of Chris, Dino, AJ and Carlo. Sigh, young love.

I'll keep in touch. Take care,

♥Nica♥

Over-time.

These will be for Jess. Ü

Under Pressure.

This will be a really quick update. I haven't updated for almost 2 weeks. I'm super busy. Even just with that damn research. Thank God [and Jannah!] we already have a title. Its 11:57 PM. And the rumbling of leaves really freaks me out. Help me!

Happy Birthday Lala and Renille!♥♥♥