Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright .

The day has ended.
The sun has set.
The blinds have closed.
The last show has concluded.

It's still not working out.
It's still driving you(?) crazy.
The usuals are still being continued.
Nothing is still cleared out.

And you're still the friend na may yiih.

______________________________
Put Your Records On - Corinne Bailey Rae

When it rains on this side of town, it touches everything.

Don't get me wrong, I love the rain.

I love how the drips of rain produce an enchanting harmony as it fall on the roof. I love how beautiful it is looking at each tiny droplet, and watching it magically splatter into a thousand molecules. I love how a mass of people dash for cover against the gentle rain. I love how the temperature is perfectly fitting for a quick or a deep slumber. And of course, let's not forget the food. The cozy chows will not only warm your whole system but will also heighten your laziness(Haha [:).

But there is this one thing I hate about the rain. Getting my feet wet.

I know that rain equates to water, and that water is further linked to wetness; but I just hate it when my toes get soaked by who-knows-what. Just imagine the microbes, the cigarette butts, the scraps of plastic and the spit. The spit! That's the thing I hate the most.

I just hope it will not rain this hard or this often for the next days. Less than two weeks from now is our first parade. And we are so far from ready.

Anyway.

A silent combat has been going on. Of course, the backstabbing and the rumormill is inevitable. But no matter how serious it gets, I will suppress the urge to fight back. I'm not that stupid to stoop down to his very low level. I know better than that.

______________________________
When It Rains - Paramore

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing.

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

-John Mayer, Love Song For No One

Try listening to this after listening to Sana (Up Dharma Down), Chasing Pavements (Adele) and Tumatakbo (Mojofly). Tingnan lang natin kung hindi ka maging jaded.

______________________________
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing - Jack Johnson

There's nothing you can do that can't be done.

It's just another normal Sunday afternoon.

Just like the past Sunday afternoons that have come and gone, I stretch the hours by either reading a new book, enslaving myself to the World Wide Web or dozing off like a fat lazy cat. But seeing that I have done all of the mentioned diversions, I'm going to do something else instead.

I'm going to tell you how I feel.

If you are one of those few persons who keep track of this blog, you're going to consider this as unusual, something that can happen only on an odd occasion. But I am presuming that you are not;so I'm going to carry on.

I feel beaten. The first quarterly exams have just ended but we, the seniors, are set to face another exam. The NCAE (National Career Aptitude Examination). Moreover, the administration modified our schedules to install an intense whole-week review which is composed of two hours each for Math, Science, English and Manipulative Reasoning. All of these equates to one word: stress.

I feel excited. Less than a month from now, all the sweat, the heat, the early morning jogs and the late walk in Park will be over. Last march, last parade. Simply writing it sends quiver down my spine. I really have to make this count.

I feel compelled. Lala and I are in-charge for the literary edition. The date of publication is roughly two weeks from this time; and we still haven't created a first draft. Boooo.

I feel dazed and confused. And I know you know why.

______________________________
All You Need Is Love - The Beatles

Ako, sila'y nandito na. Ikaw na lang ang kulang.

To understand a person's demeanor, we must take into consideration what was and what is. Just like how we study history. Just like how we evaluate a text (Pagsusuri ng Teksto ayon sa Teoryang Humanismo). We look into the past, and the present.

So we start from the end.

And by that, I mean I will refer to the first of my one hundred forty-three posts.

So here it goes.

After 1118 days, I still carry the same name, reside in the same zip code, and sleep in the same hour. I still loiter around the same corridors, publish paragraphs in the same blog, and interact with the same population. I still bore myself with boring things during boring Saturdays, still consider Jason Mraz as one of my favorite artists, still look forward for the annual Traslacion and still stir my mentality by looking at sunsets. I still consume a maximum of five hours in front of a radiated monitor, still don't accomplish homeworks at home, still repel any matter associated with Math, and still envision myself as a thriving astronaut after ten years or so.

But after 1118 days, I managed to renounce my patronage for Hale (It was just in my sophomore year when I realized that the lyrics of Hale are so cold), appreciate people not for their looks but for their values and relinquish the devil inside of me that got used to double-crossing.

I was able to do a production number and embarrass myself in front of a large mass of students, speak in a fake British accent and embarrass myself in front of a large mass of students, and sing “Brighter Than Sunshine” out of pitch––– and embarrass myself in front of a large mass of students.

I had three different hairstyles that were TORMENTED by people who may or may not care. I watched every multimillion-dollar fight of Manny Pacquiao and watched as Jinky get pregnant after every significant fight. I witnessed, for the very first time, a guy fell flat with his face to the floor. I protested against Apocalypse, our awful former batch name, and helped restore peace and order among classes. I was named as one of the members of the association that people feared and bowed down to upon hearing its name, The Chocoholics Association (Or Alpha Phi Tsokkolati) :D.

I received the first bouquet of flowers in my entire life(HAHAHA). I stumbled over the mini-fences in our school which caused a big lump of discoloration in my left leg. I used to get really doubtful because I never had a real crush. And then he came. I used to believe that I truly love him. But after a month, I realized that I still don't even understand what love is.

I was surrounded by people who always ate, rarely followed the rules, and never made a moment dull. I have cut class three times in the same subject, have dressed up like some eccentric, glorified superstar that was already verging on foolish, and have endured the relentless migraine and hyper acidity attacks that almost altered most of my moods.

I stepped once on our door at precisely 9 o'clock in the evening without my parents' consent. And that produced unkind words in my father's mouth and a week of suspicions and distrust. I stepped once into the door of a respected restaurant, sat for a while as the waiter handed the menu over, only to realize that I don't have enough money. So, WE hastily created a rational reason and excused ourselves out. Thus, we just ate at the restaurant beside it. The cheaper restaurant beside it.

I have swam twice in the same pool without my parents knowing. I did not sleep for a night for a group project that I completed all by myself . But I still got the highest score among our batch for an English exam that was scheduled the next day (HAHAHA, Arrogance much?) I have perfected two examinations so far, one of them being Trigonometry (I'm so proud!). I have turned down a suitor in one precise, calculated motion because I know I'm not ready yet. I belonged to two peer groups that immediately crumbled after a year. I played and won a volleyball game without using my hands (Hi Bea!). I forced myself into liking two freshman boys (not at the same time, of course) just so I can make use of my free time wisely.

And I am now cutting this autobiography short because I've been writing it for two days and I haven't had a decent sleep since the stressful exam week.

But you know, despite of every transient detail, one thing remained unchanged. Choomboombleh is still choomboombleh. It may have different versions but it will always be the word that means nothing but can still mean everything. It’s timeless.

______________________________
Sana - Up Dharma Down